Thursday, January 21, 2010

love talk: 5 traits guys want in a woman

So have you ever wondered exactly what guys are looking for in a woman?

You would assume it's all about her looks, or how some guys like quiet girls, loud girls, nice or not-so-nice. The list could go on for DAYS. But I'm condensing it to 5.

I've talked to a lot of my guy friends, taken psychology courses in university, and watched enough Dr. Phil throughout the years. But all of this is common sense:

1. guys look for intelligence

Someone who can speak about relevant topics, such as worldly issues, stories he could relate to, positive experiences. You get it. Not many guys are into airheads for girl-friend material. Obviously a dumb girl will get treated as such and trust me, guys are NOT nice when they talk about stupid girls. The stories I've heard are just sad and embarassing for the poor girls.

2. they want a girl who genuwinely cares for others

If a girl shows compassion and understanding for others, this is very powerful. I don't mean fake it either. You gotta mean it. If your not that type of person, then what are you gonna do... :p

Here's an interview with Cristiano Ronaldo talking about women.
*oooh lala*

3. don't be shy!

Yeah it's cool in the beginning when you're just getting to know each other. But if there's a spark, you'll know. If he's making moves on you, don't play dumb. Definitely step up if you're interested, let him know. The approach can be done in a number of ways: flirting would be perfect. Guys hate it if they are into a girl, but the girl is shy about her it.

Also, if you're in a relationship don't be shy to tell him how you're feeling about certain issues. Do it in such a way that doesn't offend him if it's a bit negative. Just remember this rule: respect is everything. Respect others, treat him with respect and he will give you the same.

4. independence

Guys LOVE a girl who can hold her own.
A girl who can handle herself, make smart decisions, and take charge of her situations. They do like to play the hero once in a while, but in general a girl who knows exactly what she's doing - that's a strength, an asset.

ne-yo: miss independent *love this song*

5. don't be clingy

okay THIS is a tricky topic simply because some guys like it when a girl gives them attention, others can't stand it! Calling him every hour of the day is a definite no-no. Give him some space to hang out with his friends while you DO YOU. Don't lose focus about what you're doing in life. Like I said, it's all about independence. You gotta give a guy some room so that he can miss you right? You're valuable so treat your time that way. He needs to work in order to spend time with you, know what I mean? Don't ALWAYS be available every single minute of the day. Get your priorities straight.

Of course you may already have your life goals and be a very busy girl. However, if you do miss him, let him know sometimes - not every 10 minutes. Phone calls are another big issue in relationships. Girls need to understand that most guys don't want to hear every single little detail of what happened during your day. Unless it's something extremely important, relevant or interesting. If it's something about drama, or if you're bitching about nonsense keep it to the bare minimum.

This is where girls get caught up in their boyfriends and don't realize that they should be paying attention to themselves FIRST. It's not all about him. There are more important things in life, seriously.

You don't need to know every single detail of what he is doing at every minute of the day. You don't need to be at every social event he attends. If you have trust issues, you need to stop and think. Does he respect your opinion in regards to cheating? Does he show signs of being a player?

On the other hand, if you have your own insecurities about the relationship that are not because of him, but because of how YOU feel about yourself... You need to work on that ASAP. It will get in the way of you two having a healthy relationship. You'll snap at him for every little thing because you'll always think he's disrespecting you.

*note* In life, every single person strives to be accepted. Accepted by their parents, family, friends, coworkers, teachers, strangers. Everyone.

If you accept your own strengths and flaws, understand them, and work on them, then you'll be in perfect shape to have a strong relationship with someone else.

This video says it all.

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